Baby Shower

Been a busy time and this weekend was no exception. I threw my sister her baby shower. I swore many months ago I would be pregnant by now. Hoping somehow it would hurt less knowing this could have been my shower for the baby lost last winter. But not pregnant.
It was stressful but luckily not emotional. I honestly didn't have time for emotions because I was so stressed out. It was a big production and I didn't have the help I thouught I would. Pissed me off considering how amny showrs my sister has thrown for other people.

Anyway, on the IVF front- I am indeed going to be doing an Antagonist Protocol so no Lupron. I am excited about that part as it means less injections but nervous since most people use Lupron. The therory is that it should reduce my chances of OHSS since I am an over-responder and PCOS. And honestly my gut thinks it's right for me- I think I would be the type to get tons of eggs but of poor quality and this should help with that. I probably will not have as many eggs but here's hoping they are good ones!
I STILL haven;t gotten my calendar! They won't give it to me until all the blood tests are in... Well apparently DH's Dr. didn't order 2 *rolleyes* so now I have to wait for those to be done! ARG! Oh well, I should have it by the time I actually need it. And at the latest would be the injections class NEXT WEEK!!! ahhh!

I can't believe I start stims in less than 3 weeks!

I have been having tons of crazy doubts and anxiety lately. I think because I turn everything off when I am trying to get time to pass and not dwell. Well it's left me feeling unfocused and as if my body won't do what it's told. Honestly I think it's the BCPs I have been on for the last couple months. I feel so OFF. I don't know how people live on this stuff. I feel very hormonal. And I wonder if it's get better? But I am NOT going to find out LOL!