Stims DAY ELEVEN

So let's get to the nity gritty and then I will babble ;)
So I have 28 follicles like they had said last week but they separated in size. One group of 12-14 are ready 18-20mm) and the other group is 11-13mm. But my Estrodial levels look good today :) Yesterdays was 1600 but todays was 3000 so we trigger tonight! I took my last stim this morning!
I took Ganirelix tonight at 8pm, I take trigger tonight (and since my E2 wasn't horribly high I don't need to Lupron trigger) of 10,000 HCG at 11pm tonight for the ER at 11am Thursday :)

Physically- Heartburn is GONE! OMG THANK GOD! It had to be the ABX! I normally have a stomach of steel but I did NOT handle those antibiotics at all! it was horrible! 3 days of heartburn, bleh!
My boobs HURT today, holy hell! They are fine as long as I leave them alone and don't nudge them, touch them, get near them...
Bloating and cramps... If I wasn't an acupuncture believer before I AM NOW! So after my acupuncture appointment my bloating went down. But then it didn't come back... So much that I was afraid I O'ed and that the scan would say everything is gone! I was actually nervous because I felt so good! But obviously there is plenty of going on in there! My ovaries look pretty darn big! But even today and tonight I feel pretty normal! I look a bit bloated but don't really feel it and I am not achy and yucky like I have been- it's AWESOME! I am thinking the shoe will drop and I will be feeling it before the ER on Thursday! LOL! But until then I am doing well!

Emotionally I think it's taking a bit of a toll. I took a nap today and felt off after because of a dream... I think everything kinda hit me. I am a control freak and the hardest thing for me is to not to have control and SO many variables! So much could go wrong and I am trying not to focus on that. So far I have been doing great BUT I think it's getting to me. Feeling better though tonight thankfully :)

Tomorrow I need to get work done... I don't want to have to stress about it after the ER or next week after the transfer. I am also going to try and de-stess and mentally prepare for Thursday morning!

Stims DAY EIGHT

Today was my first not so good day but wasn't phsyical and I am focusing on the fact that things could be FAR worse for us.
I will start with the bad: My meds weren't delivered yesterday!! OMFG!!! So I had a scan today and figured I would not panic and we would see what Dr. H had to say. He called in an RX and it didn't seem like it would be a huge deal. We did have to drive another 20 minutes north (and our clinic is already 45 miles north) but no biggie right? Well when we got to Walgreens things got bad. We were supposed to get 4 Menopur vials and a cartridge of Follistim and it would cost us $3000!! We have some insurance coverage but they didn't take our insurance. I realized we only needed the Menopur so that dropped it to $600, much better. But still I am angry we have to pay OOP because they screwed up. The IVF coordinator on-call spoke with someone at the pharmacy emergency number and said they are going to try to fix this. I hope so! But even if it doesn't, life could be worse right?

On to the good...
Had the can and it looks like we have "at least" 15 on one side and 11 on the other measuring 11-13mm! DH and I disagree which side but I think the 11 is on the right ;)
We upped the Follistim to 350 and we started the Ganirelix tonight! Um prepacked? Um yay!!
Physically today was harder. I woke with heartburn type pain and it's been on an off all day and night. Tums isn't helping :( I am not sure it's the meds but I have never had this before. It might be the antibiotics maybe? Thankkfully we are almost done with those!! I am hoping that's what it is and when I stop them I will feel better.
Exercise was more difficult today. I got more swollen again and worse. I tried using hand weights but I felt like it was making my lower stomach heavier and ached. I don't know... I may have to just start walking now :/ 
I forgot to mention the headache thing has been on an off for days. It's not horrible but annoying and I have faced it is most likely a side effect of the medications instead of a coincidence.The bloat is bothersome but not horrible yet. I do feel heavy around my uterus and oddly enough my pubic area will start aching (??).
So things are going great! I thought I would go fast and have less quality follicles but it looks like my body is baking these eggs well :)
I go back Monday for another scan. We are not sure yet but we are thinking trigger Tuesday or Wednesday and retrieval Thursday or Friday! :)

Stims DAY SIX

I kept trying to write stims day FIVE... It doesn't feel like it's been all that long to be honest. I think because (so far) the process hasn't been as big a deal as I thought it would be *knock on wood*.

So I put on my big girl panties and did my follistim this morning on my own. Hardest thing was getting out of bed to do it :p LOL! Again, not as big a deal as i thought.

I am bloated (not horrible), boobs hurt (again not horrible altho I felt like someone ripped my nipple off when i took my top off tonight LOL!) and slight headache on an off (manageable). I had acupuncture today and it was nice. I HIGHLY recommend it. I do feel like it helps my stress level and honestly overall I have felt FAR warmer this last month. Took me a while to get there tho and I thought it wasn't working. But normally I have at least one "cold night" a week (I will just be cold and summers are worse with air conditioning in public places) and I don't remember the last cold night I had. We even stayed at the beach for 4 nights and I wasn't cold! Amazing!
I took a bath tonight when i started feeling a bit yucky- headache and just not so good. Worked wonderfully. 

Overall things are still going well. I am thankful but I also realize I have really made an effort to try and remain clam and relaxed. I have made that my job right now and I am kicking ass!

Stims DAY FIVE

Wowser I could NOT stop eating today! uhg! I hope it doesn't keep going like this! I ate well but A LOT!

Anyway, had my scan today with Dr. Harris. Have I mentioned how much I love him? So I have 12 growing on the right and 11 on the left. They are still on the smaller side so he upped my follistim to 275. I hadn't taken the morning dose yet so we started the higher dose today. The Menopur is to remain the same at 150. I go back Saturday morning for the next scan. No word on my labs so I guess they were normal. I emailed and requested the numbers. I want to know everything.
Tomorrow I have to be a big girl and do my own injection prep! I have been spoiled and DH gets everything ready. It makes this process so much easier and makes me really feel like we are a team <3 I am so glad it has worked out this way. But he can't do it tomorrow morning tho so I am going to have to do it alone. I have to do two injections because the cartage won't have enough one- fun fun. The injections are still not bad but the thigh seems to sting more than the belly so I think I am switching back to the stomach. The problem is that my belly bruises where my thigh doesn't. Go figure. I am not planning on wearing a bikini again this season so i think I am good ;)

Emotionally today I lost a little bit of my Zen. Wasn't as relaxed but still ok. Didn't help there was a TON of traffic today. Luckily I have acupuncture tomorrow just to center myself. I took a long bath tonight that was nice. I am really trying to be as clam as possible and to celebrate this process as much as I can so I bought myself flowers today:

Dh helped pick them out so that counts for something right? :p
Speaking of.... I think DH is having hormonal side effects from the medication. What's that you say? Dh isn't ON the medications *I* am? Well he was certainly Mr. Grumpy Pants this morning :P I only mention it because he reads this LOL! He really is awesome but doesn't do well without his beauty sleep! He's no longer allowed to stay up the night before we have an appointment :p

Overall things are still going really well. Bloated and cramping but not horrible. Working out seems to make it worse which is opposite to what I am used to. I am not working out really hard though and Dr. H said it was fine that I keep exercising. I keep thinking I need all the blow flow going to my ovaries but honestly think it's better that I get my blood flowing for 30-60 minutes a day then not. And again, it helps keep me sane! 

Stims DAY TWO

Today was pretty much uneventful. Doesn't mean I can't write a novel though knowing me :p
I have been cramping and bloated all day today but I think it's just AF. I exercised and that didn't even help- that's my cure for cramps normally. But all in all it was another good day! No headache thankfully! I did have BAD insomnia last night though. I figured out it was because i didn;t exercise. I have been exercising hard these last couple weeks knowing I would have to limit myself soon and I think my body is just used to it.
The injections are fine. Menopur didn't sting at all tonight and the Follistim hasn't stung at all. I am however bruising at every injection spot. Makes it look far more dramatic than it feels. So far the stims have gone just as I expected *knock on wood*
I think I am going to start a tip blog for IVF for newbies and on it will be the lesson of today- Find something to pass the time until your first follicle check! I filled up the time before I started the cycle (and figure the 2ww will be hell) but failed to realize that I needed to fill this time too! I should have planned a day trip or something to pass the time. If it wasn't labor Day weekend I would go see my grandmother but I am not driving in this!

All in all I am in good spirits... Any time I start to think about how easy it is for others to get pregnant, I think about all those who can't afford IVF and realize that I may not be the lucky but I am however blessed. I am grateful I can do IVF and I keep that in perspective above everything else.

Stims DAY ONE

Ignore my pretty bruises! I am pretty careless when... errr... well.... moving? LOL!

Started the day bonding with DH over a follistim pen ;) Wasn't bad at all. I think I turned the needle when I pushed the pen down because I wasn't expecting the twisting motion. No biggie but I did get a bruise.

I have to say though that I wasn't worried to begin with so if you did find injections a big deal I am not trying to make anyone feel like they are over reacting. I have a high pain tolerance and no fear of needles. I don't particularly like intramuscular injections but SQ don't bother me at all. I have also had practice with TTC #2- he was a repronex baby and I did quite a few cycles. Ex did the injections because they were IM and that bothered me some because HE was afraid of needles (and a jackass). I LOVE being able to do my own injections because they are SQ. Can you say control freak??? That was many moons ago (9 years!) but had practice with my HCG shot this time around and got the nerves out.

But honestly a trip to the ICU after I had my last baby (long story) made me be able to get through any procedure. Temporary pain is no big deal. But say a headache I can't get rid of? I am whiny and there goes that pain tolerance! LOL! 

Speaking of... So a couple hours after meds I started cramping pretty bad which freaked me out. I was thinking it was the meds and that if it started THIS soon I was screwed! Then the light bulb lit- I stopped taking BCPs two days ago! DUH! I was PMSing and about to get AF. Now I have a headache but the cramps are gone thankfully. AF after BCPs was kinda a joke last time so I didn't even think about it. I also started the pills back up after only 2 days off so I wonder how long this will go on. 

Spent the afternoon with very pregnant complaining sister and friends getting pedicures and waxing :) My toes needed it! I normally avoid fumes and chemicals but I needed this and its been forever. I could have done without my whiny ass sister. I swear she is ever stereotype pregnant woman rolled into package. I WISH I was exaggerating. 

But it was nice to get out and talk and think about something other than IVF.

Ready... Set... GO!

That image is cracking me up! Kinda perfect! But anyway...
I am off the devil pills (BCP) and started our antibiotics today! And the big guns start tomorrow! 150 Menopur and 200 Follistim (and baby aspirin).
I can't believe we are finally here! Honestly I can't believe that I didn't lose my mind in the last couple months! *pats self on back* I really tried not to focus on it... But now it's all I think about obviously and I am ready to get this thing started! Odds are within the next 2 weeks I will be PUPO (pregnant unless proven otherwise)!
So I decided that once I started stims I needed to step back on exercise. I am still going to workout, but keep my heart-rate a lot lower so blood flow goes to my uterus and not my extremities. So I ended up harder workouts today by finishing the C25K ! I am super happy as I have been distracting myself doing the program. It was hard knowing I wouldn't be racing after I finished (I used to run- did a marathon, few HM, 12Ks & 10Ks... ironically have never done a 5K) but I have a larger goal in mind <3
I also celebrated with a veggie burger, fries and a ICY COLD drink! LOL! I am not sure I am going to be able to remember not to drink cold things. I have been trying the last couple of weeks but I honestly forget!
To end the day I am getting a massage and taking a lavender epsom salt bath :)

One month to go....

I start stimulation meds a month from today :)
Exciting!

Dr. H called and told me my cysts are not a problem after looking at my last labs :) Yay!

So I got my protocol sort of (spoke with the Dr H but nothing in writing yet). He said I will be doing the antagonist protocol and then 200 follistim 150 menopur. I am not really getting why the antagonist protocol part though. Why would he do this? I know when i had the bad labs I asked about doing Estrogen priming but since then my labs seem ok now:
FSH 7.4
Prolactin 4.3
TSH 1.56
AMH: 2.2
AFC: 19

I respond really well to clomid (2-7 mature follicles) and ok to femara (2-4 mature follicles). And I read antagonist protocol is for poor responders.

I am going to email him after I research a bunch more. I am one who trusts my Dr. as long as he can give me answers. They seem (him & my coordinator Day) very open to me asking questions and understanding everything going on so I am not afraid to ask... I just wanna feel more confident in *what* I am asking before I do ;)
I would be happy to skip Lupron but I am not sure that's the best for my #s.